The stench of modern life

Through no fault of your own, through some whim of the anonymous gods, the air becomes heavy with humidity and the skies darken with cloud and the heavens urinate upon us.

Yes, it rains. And it stinks.

What is it about rain that lifts every evil odor from every nook and cranny and every aging sofa and makes everything smell like cat pee?

I cast my gaze across the room at the sleeping cat and say aloud, “What have you done? And where?”

She does not answer.

I plug in the modern convenience of one of those “sweet-stink” creating products available at the Safeway and the domicile soon acquires a sweet scent … accompanied by the smell of cat pee.

“What has occasioned this?” I rage. And then I wonder, “Maybe it’s not the cat. Maybe it’s me!!!”

But a quick examination of the crotch area (a process I prefer not to go into) quickly affirms no shameful accidents on my part have caused this perfidy. No, I am convinced it is cat pee.

But where? Where? And why?

And what is it about a rainy night that makes every smell on the planet rise up like a mob asserting its inalienable rights?

Why does my home stink of cat pee!!!?????