Making the world a better place
As a general rule, I don’t like political posts. I don’t like political blogs – just too many cranky people ranting and raving about what usually boils down to the fact that they don’t run the world and no one listens to them or gives a rat’s behind about what they have to say.
I just don’t wanna be that guy (or gal).
But today I’m inserting a political post into Crazy Ass Planet because I have an idea for really making the world a better place. If everyone agrees with this idea, life will certainly be more pleasant for all of us. And considerably cheaper too – hey, we may even make some money, at least collectively.
Here’s the idea:
It’s illegal to have a political opinion. Only licensed people are allowed to hold political office and – here’s the nice thing – it’s also illegal for them to say anything political.
It gets better.
If you are caught saying something suggestive of a political view, we take your car away and trash it with hammers and sticks. You will get a $100,000 fine and will have to wear underwear on the outside of your clothes for a period of five years.
In order to hold political office (an unsalaried position by the way – and no such thing as claiming expenses, even on tax returns), you must submit a $250,000 deposit which is forfeit if we don’t like the job you do.
No one is allowed to belong to a political party.
For every dollar donated to a candidate’s campaign, the person or company making the donation must pay 4 dollars into the public treasury.
Political journalism will be considered a criminal activity about on a par with child pornography. It is strictly illegal and, apart from a minimum sentence of 20 years in prison without the possibility of parole, it is subject to a public shaming involving rotten eggs and mayonnaise that has gone bad.
As for political blogging, this is permitted but only under strict conditions. Specifically, all political bloggers will be required to have Webcams on themselves 24 hours a day and can only compose and post entries while naked and wearing Ronald McDonald wigs.
Oh brave new world!
Tag: Politics, Blogs, Better world
I just don’t wanna be that guy (or gal).
But today I’m inserting a political post into Crazy Ass Planet because I have an idea for really making the world a better place. If everyone agrees with this idea, life will certainly be more pleasant for all of us. And considerably cheaper too – hey, we may even make some money, at least collectively.
Here’s the idea:
It’s illegal to have a political opinion. Only licensed people are allowed to hold political office and – here’s the nice thing – it’s also illegal for them to say anything political.
It gets better.
If you are caught saying something suggestive of a political view, we take your car away and trash it with hammers and sticks. You will get a $100,000 fine and will have to wear underwear on the outside of your clothes for a period of five years.
In order to hold political office (an unsalaried position by the way – and no such thing as claiming expenses, even on tax returns), you must submit a $250,000 deposit which is forfeit if we don’t like the job you do.
No one is allowed to belong to a political party.
For every dollar donated to a candidate’s campaign, the person or company making the donation must pay 4 dollars into the public treasury.
Political journalism will be considered a criminal activity about on a par with child pornography. It is strictly illegal and, apart from a minimum sentence of 20 years in prison without the possibility of parole, it is subject to a public shaming involving rotten eggs and mayonnaise that has gone bad.
As for political blogging, this is permitted but only under strict conditions. Specifically, all political bloggers will be required to have Webcams on themselves 24 hours a day and can only compose and post entries while naked and wearing Ronald McDonald wigs.
Oh brave new world!
Tag: Politics, Blogs, Better world
posted by Bill at
1:59 PM
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