Canadians look forward to bright future

The radio listening habits of Canadians suggests a bright and promising future if a recent report can be believed:

"Canadians are not spending as much time listening to the radio as they once did, according to a new government report ..."

Having spent many years working in Canada's radio industry, I can assure you the effects of radio listening are nothing less than debilitating. Although my toes tapped merrily to groovy tunes, the health and economic consequences were disastrous.

I also believe I lost a lot of hair and forgot how to speak to people in a way that was not smarmy and ingratiating. Not to mention loud. (It was at least five years before I stopped shouting like a used car salesman in even the most intimate moments.)

But the report's great promise for the Canadian nation's future lies not with me and my recovery but the country's youth:

"'Radio still has very little appeal for teenagers,' it states. 'In the fall of 2004, they tuned in for only 8.5 hours a week, the least amount of time devoted to the medium by any age group.'"

Huzzah! I can just see the average IQ level rising like a rocket. Mind you, I haven't taken into account the effects of playing games online. (Geez ... if ain't one thing it's another.)

Tag: Canada, Radio